Hello Esmil, This is Earth


Jun 24, 2013; St. Petersburg, FL, USA; Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Esmil Rogers (32) reacts in the dugout after he pitched the second inning against the Tampa Bay Rays at Tropicana Field. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

A week after calling the Toronto Blue Jays’ Esmil Rogers a “saving grace,” he does this?  He dares to have his worst start yet as a Blue Jay?  Time to take him out of the rotation!  He clearly isn’t rotation material.  He’s not what we thought he was… and I crowned him!  I HAVE TO bash him now, right?  I’m the “silver lining/panic” guy.  It’s what I doooo…

Not exactly.  I say, all the time, “watch the damn game.”  Last night, I was gettin my Stanley Cup on, so I did not watch.  I didn’t have to.  Thanks to BrooksBaseball.net and an ESPN.com Box Score plus Recap, I saw all I needed to see.  Thanks ‘Merrica!  You can chalk last night’s start up to simply three pitches… and Jeremy Hellickson.

Rogers’ line was still pretty decent considering.  6 IP , 7 H, 4 ER, 3 BB, 2 K on 95 pitches.  That WHIP (1.67) looks kind of bad, but most of it came during the second and third inning.  Sure, the back-to-back-to-back jacks on only eight pitches is embarrassing, but they were to power hitting guys like Myers, Lon… wait? James Loney?  And Sam F***ing Fuld?!?  Were the Jays playing in a Little League field last night?  Nope!  It clearly says Tropicana Field… That’s just not right.

In all seriousness, Loney has had a season for which he should be thanking the heavens.  He took a hanging slider over the heart of the plate, out of the park, as he should have.  Then Rogers threw two dead red fastballs to Myers and Fuld and NASA sh*t a brick because they did not give permission for blast off.  After one more run in the third inning, Rogers settled in rather nicely.

The way Hellickson has been pitching this season, a Jays fan could have thought one of two things: 1.) Hellickson has been awful and the Jays have been crushing it, so the Jays bats will get Rogers off the hook… or 2.) Hellickson is due to pitch a good game.  The latter of the two options obviously occurred.  It’s not like the Jays didn’t try.  They managed four walks off of Hell Boy.  That’s pretty damn good for Toronto, but Hellickson only gave up one hit over seven innings however.  (Oh man, you guys had to watch Hellickson for 7 innings?  He’s so slow on the mound!  He makes sloths says “Come on!  Move it!” When the game started, it was 2013.  Now it’s 2015.  That’s not military time people.)

So it was bound to happen.  Hellickson was bound to eventually pitch a good game.  Rogers was due to come back down to earth for hopefully a quick visit.  The Blue Jays 11 game winning streak was eventually going to end.  Nothing about last night’s game, however, signaled the Jays are screwed.  Three pitches.  That’s it.

Tonight it’s red hot Mark Buehrle (the anti-Hellickson) versus uber cold Matt Moore (Dirty Blue Birds is benching Moore tonight.  That’s fantasy baseball talk right thurrr) and then tomorrow, it’s consistently inconsistent R.A. Dickey pitching against a man who doesn’t know his real name.  If I was Roberto Hernandez right now, I’d go back to wishing I pitched like Fausto Carmona (baseballreference.com is going to have fun linking both these names, I know it!)  So fear not young Esmil!  Three pitches did not ruin your accomplishments thus far this season.  Your rotation spot is safe.  The series win is still within reach.