Dear Santa: A Blue Jays Christmas List

Well boys and girls, the holiday season has officially started and do you know what that means? It means that everybody is out trying to get their holiday shopping done. This includes GMs from around Major League Baseball, who will congregate next week at the league’s annual Winter Meetings. In keeping with the holiday theme I thought it might be fun to send out a Christmas list to our very own SantAnthopoulus (see what I did there?) of what I’d like to see in the coming season for the Blue Jays. With that said lets begin, (keep in mind some of these are tongue in cheek)

Dear Santanthopolous,

I’ve been very good this year, and I’d like you to bring me the following thing for (INSERT HOLIDAY HERE):

1. A good Second baseman: I grew up in the 80s and 90s and perhaps I was spoiled by the likes of Roberto Alomar, but it’s been so long since the Jays have had a good, consistent player manning second. Sure we got a few good seasons out of Aaron Hill and Orlando Hudson, but lately it hasn’t been so good.
2. A Closer: Once again, in my youth I was spoiled by getting to watch Tom Henke and Duane Ward wrap things up in the 9th inning. We had a pretty good one last year in Casey Janssen, and I wouldn’t be opposed to bringing him back (as long as it’s not too expensive). We don’t necessarily need a player that’s of the same stature as the Terminator, but a guy who can get 3 outs consistently would be great.
3. Aaron Sanchez in the Starting Rotation: I know, this one is going to happen eventually, but I want it now! Happ is gone, make the move.
4. A front of the rotation starter: This one is a long-shot, I know. Truth be told I actually like the group the Jays have right now, but it would be nice to have a bonafide  “ace” at the top of the rotation. Hey, nobody’s talked about Max Scherzer in a while, why don’t you call him up and see what he’s doing?
5. Grass in the Rogers Centre: I know this one is also pretty likely to occur in the next few years, but this needs to be fast-tracked. I’ve been saying for years that the turf has got to go (of course nobody really listened to me back then.). It must  have an effect on not just the health of the players, but also the number of free agents that want to sign with the club. Listen, just put grass in, if it helps I’ll mow it.
6. A Gibby to English Dictionary: Seriously, what the heck is that guy saying?
7. Convince/pay one of the players to steal Colby Rasmus’ walk-up music: This request is actually for my brother, Jason. I went to a couple of games with him last season and his favorite part was Colby’s walk-up music (he’s not really a baseball fan, and he’s kind of weird). If you’ve never heard the song Amos Moses do yourself a favor and click the link.
8. A playoff appearance: It’s been 22 years! Please for the love of all that is holy! I want to see the Jays in the playoffs again before I die! I’ll settle for the Wild-Card game, shoot I’ll settle for a one game playoff to get to the Wild-Card game.

In closing Santanthopolous, I understand that some of these requests will be hard to do, so I’ll make a deal with you. If you can just do the last one, then I’ll be happy with that.

Sincerely,

Stephen A. Wood

PS. I was going to send along some cookies, but I ate them, and now I don’t feel well.