Blue Jays & (Not So) Deep Thoughts

shdoyle
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Feb 14, 2014; Lakeland, FL, USA; A baseball lies on the grass during the Detroit Tiger

A friend and I were reminiscing the other day about old Saturday Night Live sketches. Eventually, the conversation came to Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. Man, those were good. Anyway, they have inspired me to collect a list of (Not So) Deep Thoughts regarding the Toronto Blue Jays. Some are good, some are funny, most are neither. Here we go:

*When John Gibbons rests his chin on his arm and perches on the top step of the dug out, what song does he have in his head? I picture him humming Katy Perry. Or maybe Nirvana. I’ll bet the opening riff to ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ sounds great in that Texan drawl of his.

*The Blue Jays are still paying Ricky Romero (remember him?) $7.5M for this season and next. The 29 year old former “Ace” spent all year at AAA and threw just over 39 innings to a 5.50 ERA and a 2.097 WHIP. The fact that Ricky is still a Blue Jay warms my heart, but hurts my head. Is there really no team out there willing to take him on?

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  • Of course not. So, the Blue Jays are paying someone to NOT play for them and even if another club did think there was something to save there, they would not pay him a cent to find it. So, for another year, the Blue Jays are stuck with an expensive batting practice pitcher. I’m sure he’ll drive his expensive sports car home to his mansion and cry himself to sleep over the winter. Or, maybe he’ll do what so many hitters have done against him and walk there.

    *Colby Rasmus has been sitting for a long time. He got the start on Sunday. Before that he had been out for two weeks.

    “Hey, R.A. wanna catch? Wanna go catch a flick? Wanna grab some dinner? Huh, do ya? Do ya?”

    It makes me wonder if the Blue Jays are actually being tricksy here. What if they are actually playing the young guys in order to drive the price for Rasmus down. He’ll be a free agent very soon. The Blue Jays certainly are not willing to pay top outfield dollar to retain him. But, can they really be happy to let him walk? Are

    Anthony Gose

    and

    Kevin Pillar

    able to fill his shoes? They’ll get the rest of September to answer that question. What if the Blue Jays already know? After a poor showing this year, teams will be reluctant to splurge on the 28 year old. Why give him the chance to show improvement? That way, if Gose and Pillar are not enough, Rasmus may be a more affordable ace up the sleeve. Or, not.

    *I picture Josh Thole as that little dog that keeps following and yapping at the big bull dog. The big bull dog being R.A. Dickey. “Hey, R.A. wanna catch? Wanna go catch a flick? Wanna grab some dinner? Huh, do ya? Do ya?” I’ll bet the other guys on the team and Dickey share an eye roll. Does Thole have to walk around with an “I’m with R.A.” sign? Considering the knuckleball is the only reason Thole is on the roster, I’ll bet he messes with the other catchers about how hard it is to catch the pitch. “Yeah, boys. The knuckler is a capricious animal. Better leave it to me.” His 31 hits and throwing out 12% of base stealers certainly is not what he hangs his hat on.

    *Do you think the pitchers take pictures of each other as they throw the ball and then hang them in the club house with funny captions. I mean Dickey’s grimace is pretty amusing taken out of context. Mark Buehrle‘s calm eyes look weird when paired up with his trumpet cheeks. And, what about Marcus Stroman?

    Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

    His facial contortions are probably the reason he started blowing bubbles. But, I think Aaron Sanchez might be the best. He looks like he’s under water and has been for a very long time. It would make a good contest: Caption these pictures.

    *Speaking of catchers, Dioner Navarro was a brilliant signing. Really. His production is very welcome around these parts. But, I can’t help but wonder: How has he stolen 3 bases? Is it possible that he is faster than J.P. Arencibia? And, another thing! How is it that he has only thrown out 22% of base stealers? That’s only 15 of them! Oh, wait. He’s replaying his stolen bases in his head when runners are on. Now it makes sense.

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