The Toronto Blue Jays Pitching Jig And Lament

Mar 2, 2014; Dunedin, FL, USA; Toronto Blue Jays mascot Ace dances with a fan on the dugout during the game agains the New York Yankees at Florida Auto Exchange Park. New York Yankees defeated the Toronto Blue Jays 8-2. Mandatory Credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Hello kind sir, good day young miss, there’s a story I’d like to tell.
It’s a tale of high adventure, a journey into hell.
It’s makes Jason’s old Greek travels, seem like a little lark.
It takes place in Rogers Centre, that roof folding park.
It takes place in Rogers Centre, that roof folding park.

There used to be a boy… named Alex Anthopolous.
He never spoke out of turn, he never made a fuss.
He was a smart, forthright young man… kept his hands folded neat.
He never would say a lie my friend, no bad word he’d repeat.
He never would say a lie my friend, no bad word he’d repeat.

Now Alex he runs the Blue Jays, way up in Toronto way.
That’s the city Rob Ford toys with, don’t use that queer word gay.
The baseball team of blue and white, or is it black and blue?
They had so many injured, they didn’t know what to do!
They had so many injured, they didn’t know what to do!

The old Blue Jays were Canada’s team… from sea to sea to sea.
Many were Dominican, quite a number were Yankee.
a few were Venezuelan, they had one cute, dancing Japanese.
They had one Canuck Red Bull, whose tattoos the girls did tease.
They had one Canuck Red Bull, whose tattoos the girls did tease.

The Blue Jay boys sought out a pitcher, a man who threw straight and true.
They had trouble holding onto hurlers, they bounced off like kangaroos.
They spied one boy named Ervin S., who seemed like he would do.
but he wanted lots of money and to play for a contender too.
but he wanted lots of money and to play for a contender too.

Now most of the boys on the team, they went on bended knee.
Oh please mighty Ervin, begged they, we’ll go on a winning spree.
We will treat you right, we’ll get right tight, champagne it will flow.
We’ll win the World Series, if Santana for the Blue Jays throws.
We’ll win the World Series, if Santana for the Blue Jays throws.

This is where the story ends my friends, there is nothing more to tell.
I am sorry for cutting it off like this, more info needs to jell.
Will the Toronto Blue Jays get their pitcher? Dominica’s native son?
I couldn’t really tell ya, the story’s not quite done.
I couldn’t really tell ya, the story’s not quite done.