Blue Jays: Fun With Facial Hair

John Lott-National Post-Feb.21,2014

Since the Toronto Blue Jays are not exactly making headlines this winter/spring, there isn’t much to write about from the couch. So, let’s have some fun.

One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to work on my beard. Seems silly. But, it actually requires dedication. Recently, Adam Lind was photographed showing off his facial hair. He insists it is not a copy of the beards the Boston Red Sox sported during the 2013 season and playoffs, but a goatee he’s been working on since July. Personally, it is hideous. But, in Jays’ Country these days, it passes for news. So, in light of John Lott’s National Post piece on Adam Lind’s new goatee look, I thought it would be fun to take a look back at the good, the bad and the ugly of beards, goatees and mustaches of Toronto Blue Jays players. There were many options to choose from. I’ve chosen my favorites.

*Featured Photo: John Lott, National Post, Feb.21,2014

THE GOOD 

John Lott/National Post

Dustin McGowan‘s chops. These things were a thing of beauty! They had the right amount of thickness and they curved perfectly.

*Photo: John Lott/National Post

Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Jose Bautista‘s beard. Jose can be clean shaven in the 1st inning and have a nice, dark shadow by the 9th. When he lets the beard grow in, it comes in think and dark. Very well trimmed and stylish.

*Photo: Kim Klement- USA Today Sports

Andy Lyons /Getty Images

Cito Gaston‘s mustache. The upper lip of  Toronto’s repeat manager just oozes business. It has been a trademark of Gaston’s for years. It is such a fixture that during Gaston’s farewell ceremony at Rogers Centre, Travis Snider paid homage to the skipper by painting a thick mustache on before he led off the game with a homerun. See? The ‘stache works. As you’ll see later, perhaps Travis should stick to eye black.

*Photo- Andy Lyons/Getty Images

PATTI GOWER / TORONTO STAR

Dave Steib’s mustache. Like Cito’s, Stieb’s mustache speaks business, but with an air of sex appeal. No one would accuse Gaston of being sexy, but Stieb’s ‘stache wears it proudly. We’ll give Dave extra points for the flow! It just adds more of a working class kind of appeal to the already sexy upper lip.

*Photo: Patti Glower/Toronto Star

The Associated Press, 2008

Sal Fasano‘s handlebars. Toronto’s Minor League catching instructor’s facial hair just dares you to make fun of it. There are not too many dudes who can pull off this look, but Sal manages to do it well to the point where it has become his trademark.

*Photo: The Associated Press, 2008

CBS Sports

Eric Thames’…everything. It was so hard to find the right picture for Eric Thames. The man changed facial hair styles like most people change their socks. There were so many styles he tried, but none seemed to work. Maybe that’s why he kept trying so many.

*Photo: CBS Sports

THE UGLY

KEN FAUGHT / TORONTO STAR

Jack Morris‘ mustache. Look real close. You might be able to find an entire meal made up of all the things caught in that broom. Maybe it is where he keeps his keys. Better yet, don’t look too closely. You’re bound to get eaten by that thing.

*Photo: Ken Faught/Toronto Star

Dave Sandford/Getty Images

Brian Tallet‘s beard, mustache or chops. Like Eric Thames, Tallet tried many different styles. From crust-ache to semi-full, splotchy beard, to a poor attempt at Dustin McGowan’s chops, to really long straight side burns. A quick Google search will give you all you need to see of Brian Tallet’s facial hair explorations. Maybe some guys just shouldn’t.

*Photo: Dave Sandford/Getty Images

Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports.

Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports.

Joy R. Absalon-USA TODAY Sports

THE WORST

Colby Rasmus– There it is! The goat-EEEEEEEEK! I’m not sure what Colby was going for here, but oh man. Some have accused Colby of resembling a hillbilly, but this HELLbilly facial hair scared even my ‘youngun’. Let’s hope he’s learned his lesson.

*Photos: 1-Tim Heitman- USA TODAY Sports 2-Tim Heitman- USA TODAY Sports 3-Joy Absalon- USA TODAY Sports

David Manning-USA TODAY Sports

Honourable mention goes to Jose Reyes for having a slick, stylish beard. However, I think his smile is what makes the beard work. Last summer, I attempted the Jose Reyes beard and it was just brutal.

*Photo: David Manning- USA TODAY Sports

There you have it. A quick look at the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Toronto Blue Jays facial hair. Growing the right facial decoration takes dedication, careful planning, proper grooming. One must take into account skin tone, face/ head size, hair type and a myriad of other things.  As you’ve seen, some can do it. Some can’t. Others throw caution to the wind and say, ‘Screw it. Let’s have some fun’.

Have your say. Feel free to leave your choices below.