Fire Gibby! The Very “Rational” Reasons Why The Blue Jays Manager Needs To Go


This season has been a struggle for the Blue Jays, a 9-17 start has put them in a hole that the masses are deeming as insurmountable. With the absolute worst first month of the season that the Blue Jays could possibly have expected almost in the books many fans are looking for a scapegoat, and many of those fans are pointing the finger at manager John Gibbons. Everyone knows that a baseball team’s manager is the main component to their success (definitely not the actual players playing the actual game right?), so what has John Gibbons been doing wrong? Let’s take a look at why the Blue Jays should #FireGibby 


Fundamentals! Admittedly this Blue Jays team has been atrocious on the defensive side of the game so far this season, and clearly this is the fault of the manager at the Major League level. I know that these guys are professional baseball players that get paid millions of dollars to play the game. I know that they have played the game their entire lives, honing and perfecting their skills for years in the minor leagues, where there are plentiful numbers of roving instructors whose  job is to teach young players the fundamentals so they’re ready for the big leagues, but clearly the Major League manager can change the inherent defensive suckitude of players that he’s been coaching for only 3 months with a few quick lessons! Hey Gibby, why don’t you show Emilio Bonifacio that he’s supposed to throw the ball TO Edwin Encarnacion at first base? Or maybe you could explain to Rajai Davis that this probably isn’t the most efficient route to the ball? FUNDAMENTALS bud.

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No Clutch Hitting

The Toronto Blue Jays are currently hitting .195 with Runners In Scoring Position. Clearly this is the fault of the Manager. Doesn’t he know how to motivate his boys!?! He’s just gotta fire ‘em up so they go and hit the dang ball! “Hey Joey Bats, why don’t you stop slumping in April like you have the last couple seasons before you catch fire and destroy baseballs, and get a gosh darn clutch hit!?!?”. I think was can safely ignore the fact that “Clutch Hitting” has been pretty much been proven to not exist, and therefore the Jays average with RISP will probably normalize before long when they go on a run good enough to make people happy, but not quite good enough to make the playoffs, but still…GIBBY’S FAULT.

A Clubhouse In Disarray

So yesterday on Prime Time Sports Jeff Blair claimed that there are some “issues” occurring in the Toronto Blue Jays Clubhouse, I’m not really sure what “issues” entail, but I feel confident that it’s probably John Gibbons fault right? Never mind that I’ve never heard a single mention of any winning team ever having Clubhouse issues, so if the Blue Jays start to win this will disappear, we’ve got to make sure that every single employee of the Toronto Blue Jays gets along and are friends! If you’re not friends with your coworkers you can’t possibly do your job effectively right? Clearly Gibbons has lost control and has to go #FireGibby.

So we’ve clearly established that everything wrong with the Toronto Blue Jays is the fault of John Gibbons. The #FireGibby campaign on Twitter is clearly very rational and well thought out. We bring in some fresh meat and BOOM, Rajai Davis will be able to play centrefield, Emilio Bonifacio is going to be a defensive whiz over at second base, clutch hitting will magically come in droves and all of the Blue Jays will get along and hang out and be happy all the time, they’ll win at a 70% clip, winning 104 games or so and walk to the World Series. Just who should we entrust this job to?

Uhhh okay guys…I just don’t even…I give up.